Their
Names Sounded Like Those Of The State Officers In Mr.
Gilbert's 'Mikado.' I Find In My Journal One Entered As
Tovey-Tovey, Another As Kanakala.
We were then conducted to
the presence chamber by the Foreign Minister, Mr. Wiley, a
very pronounced Scotch gentleman with a star of the first
magnitude on his breast.
The King was dressed as an English
admiral. The Queen, whose ample undulations also reminded
one of the high seas, was on his right; while in perfect
gradation on her right again were four princesses in short
frocks and long trousers, with plaited tails tied with blue
ribbon, like the Miss Kenwigs. A little side dispute arose
between the stiff old General and the Foreign Minister as to
whose right it was to present us. The Consul carried the
day; but the Scot, not to be beaten, informed Tamehameha, in
a long prefatory oration, of the object of the ceremony.
Taking one of us by the hand (I thought the peppery old
General would have thrust him aside), Mr. Wiley told the King
that it was seldom the Sandwich Islands were 'veesited' by
strangers of such 'desteenction' - that the Duke of this
(referring to Fred's relations), and Lord the other, were the
greatest noblemen in the world; then, with much solemnity,
quoted a long speech from Shakespeare, and handed us over to
his rival.
His Majesty, who did not understand a word of English, or
Scotch, looked grave and held tight to the arm of the throne;
for the truth is, that although he had relinquished his
bottle for the hour, he had brought its contents with him.
My salaam was soon made; but as I retired backwards I had the
misfortune to set my heel on the toes of a black-and-tan
terrier, a privileged pet of the General's. The shriek of
the animal and the loss of my equilibrium nearly precipitated
me into the arms of a trousered princess; but the amiable
young lady only laughed. Thus ended my glimpse of the
Hawaian Court. Mr. Wiley afterwards remarked to me: 'We do
things in a humble way, ye'll obsairve; but royalty is
royalty all over the world, and His Majesty Tamehameha is as
much Keng of his ain domeenions as Victoria is Queen of
Breetain.' The relativity of greatness was not to be denied.
The men - Kanakas, as they are called - are fine stalwart
fellows above our average height. The only clothing they
then wore was the MARO, a cloth made by themselves of the
acacia bark. This they pass between the legs, and once or
twice round the loins. The WYHEENES - women - formerly wore
nothing but a short petticoat or kilt of the same material.
By persuasion of the missionaries they have exchanged this
simple garment for a chemise of printed calico, with the
waist immediately under the arms so as to conceal the contour
of the figure. Other clothing have they none.
Are they the more chaste? Are they the less seductive -?
Hear what M. Anatole France says in his apostrophe to the
sex: 'Pour faire de vous la terrible merveille que vous etes
aujourd'hui, pour devenir la cause indifferente et souveraine
des sacrifices et des crimes, il vous a fallu deux choses:
la civilisation qui vous donna des voiles, et la religion qui
vous donna des scrupules.' The translation of which is
(please take note of it, my dear young ladies with 'les
epaules qui ne finissent pas'):
'Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter.'
Be this as it may, these chocolate-skinned beauties, with
their small and regular features, their rosy lips, their
perfect teeth - of which they take great care - their
luxurious silky tresses, their pretty little hands and naked
feet, and their exquisite forms, would match the matchless
Cleopatra.
Through the kindness of Fred's host, the principal merchant
in the island, we were offered an opportunity of becoming
acquainted with the ELITE of the Honolulu nymphs. Mr. S.
invited us to what is called a LOOHOU feast got up by him for
their entertainment. The head of one of the most picturesque
valleys in Woahoo was selected for the celebration of this
ancient festival. Mounted on horses with which Mr. S. had
furnished us, we repaired in a party to the appointed spot.
It was early in the afternoon when we reached it; none of the
guests had arrived, excepting a few Kanakas, who were engaged
in thatching an old shed as shelter from the sun, and
strewing the ground with a thick carpet of palm-leaves. Ere
long, a cavalcade of between thirty and forty amazons - they
all rode astride - came racing up the valley at full speed,
their merry shouts proclaiming their approach. Gaudy strips
of MARO were loosely folded around their legs for skirts.
Their pretty little straw hats trimmed with ribbons, or their
uncovered heads with their long hair streaming in the wind,
confined only by a wreath of fresh orange flowers, added to
their irresistible charm. Certainly, the bravest soldiers
could not have withstood their charge. No men, however, were
admitted, save those who had been expressly invited; but each
lady of importance was given a CARTE BLANCHE to bring as many
of her own sex as she pleased, provided they were both pretty
and respectable.
As they rode up, we cavaliers, with becoming gallantry,
offered our assistance while they dismounted. Smitten
through and through by the bright eyes of one little houri
who possessed far more than her share of the first
requirement, and, taking the second for granted, I
courteously prepared to aid her to alight; when, to my
discomfiture, instead of a gracious acknowledgment of my
services, she gave me a sharp cut with her whip. As,
however, she laughed merrily at my wry faces, I accepted the
act as a scratch of the kitten's claws; at least, it was no
sign of indifference, and giving myself the benefit of the
doubt, lifted her from her saddle without further
chastisement, except a coquettish smile that wounded, alas!
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