To explain.
But, lacking the wit,
I must e'en submit
This doggerel rhyme
And hope 't is in time."
"Oh! oh!" exclaimed the "small specimen" (aged ten), "that's Grandma's;
I heard her say she 'knows beans', 'cause she is a Yankee;" but the S.
S. subsides on hearing the next paper read, and shows so plainly that
she "wishes herself further" that it is not difficult to guess the
author: -
"What's quicker than lightning?
A Turkey or a squirrel
Can 'cut' like a knife
But I never saw a creature rash
Like a deer in all my life."
"Good for Ten-year-old!" exclaim the chorus; and the S. S., brightening
up, concludes she'll try it again sometime. Next comes the question: -
"Where do cabbages come from?
My will is good, and I propose
To tell you all I can
In this dry time a garden hose
Must come into the plan
First plant the seed, and in due course
Will little shoots appear,
When each from other has divorce
They'll flourish, it is clear.
If this rhyme is worth preserving,
With mucilage it may be fixed
On any wall deserving
Such wit and wisdom mixed."
As it is well known that the natives of the Emerald Isle have a
predilection for cabbages, it is unanimously decided that none but Pat
could have perpetrated this; so Pat grins, suggests that a bill poster
be secured at once, and proceeds: -
"How would you like to be a cat?
In Timbuctoo each stern ascetic,
Though blind to folly as a bat,
Revels in love peripatetic
Which makes him nimble as a cat
But though I'm fond of such agility,
I better like the busy bees,
For they display so much ability
They 'mind one of the Portuguese."
At this implied compliment to his people, the black eyes of the foreign
student flash approval; and the Mathematician speaks up, saying, "That
is the Philosopher, sure, and proves the truth of the saying, 'A little
nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.'" The Philosopher
smiles benignantly, but does not deny the charge; and the reader
continues: -
"What do you think of the Ormthorhynchus?
My brain's in a 'muss'
From thinking of this 'cuss'
(Excuse me for using such a word).
If it lived at Nahant
With this heat it would pant,
For surely't is a curious bird.
You may think me a 'muff',
And declare I talk stuff,
But I hope you'll not doubt my word.
For though out in all weathers
Its coat's not of feathers
But of fur, - at least so I've heard.
But 'by this illumination'
(Kant's ratiocination?)
'I don't see it,' though it may seem quite absurd."
The company, strange to say, hit upon Elsie for this, and are evidently
surprised that one so given up to pomps and vanities should display such
knowledge of natural history; but they evidently suspect her of shining
by reflected light, as she sits next to the Philosopher; and I heard
her ask him a question about this animal with the jaw-breaking name.
