Instructions In My Journal, In Case Of Death, And Told My Headman To Be
Sure To Deliver My Maps, Observations, And Papers To The English Consul
At Khartoum; This Was My Only Care, As I Feared That All My Labour Might
Be Lost Should I Die.
I had no fear for my wife, as she was quite as bad
as I, and if one should die, the other would certainly follow; in fact,
this had been agreed upon, lest she should fall into the hands of
Kamrasi at my death.
We had struggled to win, and I thanked God that we
had won; if death were to be the price, at all events we were at the
goal, and we both looked upon death rather as a pleasure, as affording
rest; there would be no more suffering; no fever; no long journey before
us, that in our weak state was an infliction; the only wish was to lay
down the burden.
Curious is the warfare between the animal instincts and the mind! Death
would have been a release that I would have courted, but I should have
liked that one "English beefsteak and pale ale" before I died! During
our misery of constant fever and starvation at Shooa Moru, insult had
been added to injury. There was no doubt that we had been thus deserted
by Kamrasi's orders, as every seven or eight days one of his chiefs
arrived, and told me that the king was with his army only four days'
march from me, and that he was preparing to attack Fowooka, but that he
wished me to join him, as with my fourteen guns we should win a great
Enter page number
Page 490 of 662
Words from 132172 to 132455