These Wart-Hogs Are Most Comical Brutes From Whatever Angle One
Views Them.
They have a patriarchal, self-satisfied, suburban
manner of complete importance.
The old gentleman bosses his harem
outrageously, and each and every member of the tribe walks about
with short steps and a stuffy parvenu small-town
self-sufficiency. One is quite certain that it is only by
accident that they have long tusks and live in Africa, instead of
rubber-plants and self-made business and a pug-dog within
commuters' distance of New York. But at the slightest alarm this
swollen and puffy importance breaks down completely. Away they
scurry, their tails held stiffly and straightly perpendicular,
their short legs scrabbling the small stones in a frantic effort
to go faster than nature had intended them to go. Nor do they
cease their flight at a reasonable distance, but keep on going
over hill and dale, until they fairly vanish in the blue. I used
to like starting them off this way, just for the sake of
contrast, and also for the sake of the delicious but impossible
vision of seeing their human prototypes do likewise.
When a wart-hog is at home, he lives down a hole. Of course it
has to be a particularly large hole. He turns around and backs
down it. No more peculiar sight can be imagined than the
sardonically toothsome countenance of a wart-hog fading slowly in
the dimness of a deep burrow, a good deal like Alice's Cheshire
Cat.
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