As There Were Still Twenty Tusks Left,
I Deposited Them With Colonel Nunes, That, In The Event Of Any Thing Happening
To Prevent My Return, The Impression Might Not Be Produced In The Country
That I Had Made Away With Sekeletu's Ivory.
I instructed Colonel Nunes,
in case of my death, to sell the tusks and deliver the proceeds to my
Men;
but I intended, if my life should be prolonged, to purchase the goods
ordered by Sekeletu in England with my own money, and pay myself on my return
out of the price of the ivory. This I explained to the men fully,
and they, understanding the matter, replied, "Nay, father, you will not die;
you will return to take us back to Sekeletu." They promised to wait
till I came back, and, on my part, I assured them that nothing but death
would prevent my return. This I said, though while waiting at Kilimane
a letter came from the Directors of the London Missionary Society
stating that "they were restricted in their power of aiding plans
connected only remotely with the spread of the Gospel,
and that the financial circumstances of the society were not such as to afford
any ground of hope that it would be in a position, within any definite period,
to enter upon untried, remote, and difficult fields of labor."
This has been explained since as an effusion caused by temporary
financial depression; but, feeling perfect confidence in my Makololo friends,
I was determined to return and trust to their generosity.
The old love of independence, which I had so strongly
before joining the society, again returned. It was roused
by a mistaken view of what this letter meant; for the directors,
immediately on my reaching home, saw the great importance of the opening,
and entered with enlightened zeal on the work of sending the Gospel
into the new field. It is to be hoped that their constituents
will not only enable them to begin, but to carry out their plans,
and that no material depression will ever again be permitted,
nor appearance of spasmodic benevolence recur. While I hope
to continue the same cordial co-operation and friendship
which have always characterized our intercourse, various reasons induce me
to withdraw from pecuniary dependence on any society. I have done something
for the heathen, but for an aged mother, who has still more sacred claims
than they, I have been able to do nothing, and a continuance of the connection
would be a perpetuation of my inability to make any provision
for her declining years. In addition to "clergyman's sore throat",
which partially disabled me from the work, my father's death
imposed new obligations; and a fresh source of income having been opened to me
without my asking, I had no hesitation in accepting what would enable me
to fulfill my duty to my aged parent as well as to the heathen.
If the reader remembers the way in which I was led, while teaching
the Bakwains, to commence exploration, he will, I think,
recognize the hand of Providence.
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