The Three Men Whom I Had Brought From Kuruman Had Frequent Relapses
Of The Fever; So, Finding That Instead Of Serving Me I Had To Wait On Them,
I Decided That They Should Return To The South With Fleming
As Soon As He Had Finished His Trading.
I was then entirely dependent
on my twenty-seven men, whom I might name Zambesians, for there were
two Makololo only, while the rest consisted of Barotse, Batoka, Bashubia,
and two of the Ambonda.
The fever had caused considerable weakness in my own frame,
and a strange giddiness when I looked up suddenly to any celestial object,
for every thing seemed to rush to the left, and if I did not catch hold
of some object, I fell heavily on the ground: something resembling
a gush of bile along the duct from the liver caused the same fit to occur
at night, whenever I turned suddenly round.
The Makololo now put the question, "In the event of your death,
will not the white people blame us for having allowed you to go away
into an unhealthy, unknown country of enemies?" I replied that
none of my friends would blame them, because I would leave a book
with Sekeletu, to be sent to Mr. Moffat in case I did not return, which would
explain to him all that had happened until the time of my departure.
The book was a volume of my Journal; and, as I was detained longer
than I expected at Loanda, this book, with a letter, was delivered by Sekeletu
to a trader, and I have been unable to trace it. I regret this now,
as it contained valuable notes on the habits of wild animals,
and the request was made in the letter to convey the volume to my family.
The prospect of passing away from this fair and beautiful world
thus came before me in a pretty plain, matter-of-fact form,
and it did seem a serious thing to leave wife and children - to break up
all connection with earth, and enter on an untried state of existence;
and I find myself in my journal pondering over that fearful migration
which lands us in eternity, wondering whether an angel will soothe
the fluttering soul, sadly flurried as it must be on entering
the spirit world, and hoping that Jesus might speak but one word of peace,
for that would establish in the bosom an everlasting calm.
But as I had always believed that, if we serve God at all, it ought to be done
in a manly way, I wrote to my brother, commending our little girl to his care,
as I was determined to "succeed or perish" in the attempt to open up
this part of Africa. The Boers, by taking possession of all my goods,
had saved me the trouble of making a will; and, considering the light heart
now left in my bosom, and some faint efforts to perform
the duty of Christian forgiveness, I felt that it was better to be
the plundered party than one of the plunderers.
Enter page number
PreviousNext
Page 191 of 572
Words from 101962 to 102477
of 306638
