I was well aware of the difficulties of the position, but I had only the
choice of two evils. If I remained at Gondokoro, my term of service
would expire fruitlessly. I should simply have reduced the Baris, and
have established the station. Abou Saood would remain in the interior
among his numerous slave establishments, to ridicule my impotence, and
to defy my orders that he should quit the country. He would thus
continue in the heart of Africa until I should have returned helplessly
to England. He would then have resumed his original work of spoliation.
The expedition would have been a failure.
On the other hand, should my small force meet with defeat or
destruction, both the military and the civil world would exclaim, "Serve
him right! the expedition to the interior made under such circumstances
showed a great want of judgment; a total ignorance of the first rules in
military tactics. What could he expect, without an established
communication, at a distance of three or four hundred miles from his
base? Simple madness ! - not fit to command!" &c. &c. &c.
I knew the risks and the responsibility; but if I remained passive, I
should be beaten. I had often got through difficulties, and if risks are
to be measured in Africa by ordinary calculations, there would be little
hope of progress.
